If there is one extremely first-world and trivial struggle that I have encountered as a result of #COVID19, it is finding a way to express myself through fashion as a person who A.) loves to show off outfits out in public and on social media and B.) hates anything relating to ‘leisure-wear.’ Don’t get me wrong, I love a pair of trackies and a baggy jumper, but they have a time and a place, and in general if I’m not sick or hungover I’m not interested. After four weeks, I am now absolutely desperate to get dolled up and put on a pair of heels, so much so that I am contemplating doing it just to go to my living room, or perhaps for my next Zoom call.
As you can see, fashion has always been an important part of my personality. For as long as I can remember, I have used clothes, jewelry, shoes, hairstyles, purses, etc. as a way of expressing who I am and whatever phase I might be going through at the minute. As I have grown older and become financially independent, my affinity for all things fashion has only grown. So, you can imagine my sheer horror in March when it became clear that we all needed to start staying indoors as a matter of life or death.
This horror was amplified when I realised that I had only just invested in my first pair of Jimmy Choo’s, a gorgeous pair of ballet pink pumps that will now not see the light of day until further notice. I buy clothes to wear, not collect dust, and the idea of spending every single day in old marathon finisher shirts and leggings with holes in them makes me feel dead inside. I find myself spending hours of my newly found ‘free-time’ at home perusing Silk Fred, TopShop, ASOS, and every other website I could think of. My wishlist on each of these website is astromical, but the risk to my bank account and more importantly to delivery drivers forced to deliver non-essentials has kept me from actually purchasing anything.
So, how do I cope with my primal need to express myself through fashion when I’ll ultimately be all dressed up with nowhere to go, AND my chosen form of therapy (retail) is largely unavailable? I’ve been thinking about this for awhile, and I finally had an epiphany. While I love fashion and clothes, and I also will never turn down an outfit related compliment, I’ve realised over the course of quarantine that my love for fashion does not actually come from a need to be seen or complimented. While obviously in an ideal world I prefer to get dressed up AND go out (I am a restless extrovert, after all), when forced to stay inside I’ve found that wearing clothes and makeup that make me feel inspired help to make me feel more like me. Truthfully, this makes a lot of sense. I have a small handful of followers on Instagram, and I can count on one hand the number of times in my life I’ve been complimented in public on my fashion choices. If external validation was really my motivator for looking my best, I don’t think I’d have much motivation at all.
This is probably the least earth-shattering thing that you’ve read whilst in quarantine, but I think it’s important because, in a way, I finally feel like I might actually gain something from this miserable time. My self-imposed embargo on ordering clothes online means that I can actually take time to slow down and appreciate the clothes that I already have. I might actually finally have time to create new outfits from my existing wardrobe and refresh my wardrobe without spending a penny! Additionally, dressing up for no one but myself is a helpful way of distinguishing one day from the next and maintaining my confidence and self-expression in an otherwise extremely BLAH phase of my life.
So, if you are also someone who gets an immense about of joy from buying, styling, and wearing clothes, I implore you to not let quarantine get you down. Of course, I will be and am spending most of my days in leggings and t-shirts (and if you are someone who is relishing in the chance to pack away your work attire until further notice, I totally understand)… but where you feel inspired to put some effort in, DO! As soon as I am back in my flat in London, I plan on putting on my Jimmy Choo’s and a cute pair of jeans and strutting all over my flat (thank goodness we live on the ground floor). Royal Ascot, one of my favorite fashionable events of the British summertime, has been cancelled and will likely be held behind closed doors. I already plan on hosting some sort of Royal Ascot themed barbecue and wearing the dress I had (obviously) already picked out. If we all flex our creative muscles, we can find ways to dress up and stay in. Everything might be different now, but not everything has to go away. There will always be a way to Vogue.